Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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