you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When are your genitals available?
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