He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
