I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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