I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
