It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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