wakey wakey hands off snakey
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
