Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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