I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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