this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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