let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
