I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
