he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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