Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
