U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he puts the penis in happiness.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
