they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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