try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
