Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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