He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
