I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just sent this text using only my big toe
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
