So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
