how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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