you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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