i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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