At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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