as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
