Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
