I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
