highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think my moral compass just broke
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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