I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
