whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
