I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
