can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
