There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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