just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
