We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
