her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
