ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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