I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have fence marks all over my body
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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