Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
