If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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