Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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