Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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