my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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