he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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