if you like me you must not know who I am
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
