the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
