I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
