If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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