JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
